Happy 4th
You know what I think? I think the US Declaration of Independence is one of the greatest documents ever written, like, EVER. That's what I think. So, everyone, join me in this cheer:King George III is a loser!! Down with monarchy!! Down with colonization!! Down with abuses!! Go Declaration!! Go founding fathers!! Go liberty!! Go life!! Go pursuit of happiness!! Go USA!!!
People who don't appreciate the United States tick me off. People who cheat the government tick me off. People who lie to get out of jury duty tick me off. People who evade their taxes tick me off. Welfare crooks tick me off. People who pretend they're poor when they're not so they can get money and benefits they don't deserve tick me off.
Hey, people who do all that stuff - pay attention:
This country is a miracle and a blessing, and it deserves our gratitude, our love, and our support. And if you lie and steal from it instead, you are a cockyhead as well as a crook. No kugel for you.
And now, one more time:
Give me a U!! Give me an S!! Give me an A!! What have we got??
USA!!
Ok then.
So in other news, my best friend RWAC put up a post a few weeks ago that I'm ashamed not to have seen, like, that day (I don't read blogs, see). It's about.... [drumroll]... being a rebbetzin. Click here.
And not only that, but apparently RWAC uses these Blogger labels, which I don't (who needs to learn new skills at this stage in life?), and he has a whole label category called "rebbetzins", and apparently he's written a few posts about being a rebbetzin, and you can read them all by clicking here. Although be forewarned: Mrs. RWAC apparently cleans for Pesach, like, really, really early. So if you don't like people who clean early for Pesach, stay away from that post.
So here are a few things RWAC says about being a rebbetzin. We'll see if any of these apply to me.
- "To be a Rebbetzin you have to be absolutely, positively, deranged." [Survey says: DING DING DING]
- "You must have a generosity gland that runs in twenty-four hour overdrive." [Survey says: NOT]
- "You must have the patience of not just one saint, but several thousand of them." [Survey says: HAHAHAHAHA] [yeah, right!]
- "And you must lack any sense of self-preservation." [Survey says: Sense of... what??]
Ok then. Two out of four ain't bad. Or, two out of four ARE bad, and those just happen to be the ones that apply to me. Well.
In other news, here's what as far as I know is the latest on the silly little lawsuit that's been filed against my best friend Orthomom. I don't understand 90% of it, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't been chucked into prison yet. If there's been an update since then, feel free to point it out.
So you know what the best part about being a rebbetzin is (the best part I can think of right now, I mean)? The best part is these really, really, really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllly loooooooooooooooooooooooong Shabboses, wherein the day just draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags, and you are boooooooooooooooooooooooooooored and craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanky and you have nothing to dooooooooooooooooooooooo and your husband is busy because, well, in direct violation of one of the most central commandments of God's Holy Word, Shabbos is your husband's major busy workday (ironic, no?). Feh. Not my favorite time of year.
So the shul dinner was within the last few weeks, and for a change, I got, well, not drunk, exactly, but shall we say, slightly buzzed. Heheh. I knew I'd never make it through otherwise, see, because the chosen honorees have a tendency to speak for approximately six hours apiece when given the opportunity. And I. Cannot. Stand. Long. Speeches. So I got buzzed and proceeded to, well, act buzzed. Spiritual Philette was not impressed, and in fact since then, her husband has been treating me with cold-shouldered contempt. Or at least in my perception, he is. Perhaps I'm treating myself with cold-shouldered contempt and projecting it onto him? Hmm.
So the funny thing was, when I told a friend of mine that I got drunk at the shul dinner, the friend replied "So? I get drunk at my shul dinner every year." So I waited for a moment to see if the friend would, you know, intuit why their case and mine are not necessarily comparable, and when no such intuition came, I said "Um - you're not the rebbetzin." At which point my friend doubled over laughing. Yes. That's better. Thank you very much.
Oh, so here's another late bit of news, like from (heehee) April 4. [duck in embarassment]
On April 4th, see, my best friend Margalit, on one of her many blogs, nominated ME - me!! - for a - wait for it - Thinking Blogger Award. Click here to read the post. Now mind you, I was supposed to put this badge in my sidebar and nominate five others, but (here's a shock) I never did. I also never told anyone to vote for me for the three (three :) ) JIBs I was nominated for, and I never put any of THOSE badges in my sidebar either, I mean from previous years when I was actually a finalist for one or two of them. Don't know why I never bother/ed with any of those things; probably because I don't/didn't have time.
Anyhoo, so Margalit said some really, really nice things about me in that post, and it was very humbling to read, and I was and am honored that she did so and that she nominated me for anything, so I thought she deserved a mention and a public thank-you, even if it is, um, three months late. Heheh.
Also, my best friend Jameel is apparently celebrating a family simcha, so - mazal tov to Jameel and the Muqatans. Not to brag or anything, but I was personally invited by Jameel himself to guest post on his blog while he was busy with the festivities. Of course, so were about 50 or so other people, who, if you go there, you will see actually did take him up on the offer. Which I would have also, if I could have thought of anything worthwhile to say.
Ok, I think that's all for now. I'm in the midst of a post on a touchy subject so maybe that will get finished some time.
So, happy 4th of July, don't cheat on those taxes, and above all, let freedom ring!!
USA!! USA!!
Labels: The Rebbetzinate
This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 04, 2007 at 7/04/2007 06:02:00 PM.
ByGO U-S-A!
ByGO R-E-N-R-E-B!
I got 'buzzed' twice at our shul dinner.
The first year, my husband mandated I take a drink because I was a speaker and was too nervous for words. It helped.
The next year, both my husband and my dear friend's husband opted out of the shul dinner, so she and I went together.
I should have known better. I love her to pieces, but have to sit away from her in shul to avoid talking during davening. (She's my favorite bad influence.)
We were placed at a kavodik table because we were both presidents of things that year. She kept motioning to the waiters to refill our cups... It was all we could do not to heckle the emcee... The rabbis at our table moved their chairs noticeably away from us. There's a picture of us on our shul website with her whispering in my ear, and me holding my red face, trying not to giggle.
The following year I just sent in a check. The shul dinner is just too much excitement for me, I guess.
I don't understand 90% of it, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't been chucked into prison yet.
ByLOLOLOL. I'm in a really lousy mood today, and this actually got me to crack a smile. Thanks RenReb.
I shouldn't cheat on my taxes?? Why? All those stupid politicians, they are responsible to all things wrong with society, including people who don't pay their taxes. ('tis a joke, I just blogged about ignorance, and usually those people fall under the "cheat the government" category.
ByThat Thinking Blogger award was so long ago that I forgot about it and had to look back. Because evidentally I'm not that much of a thinking blogger myself! I think I'm a Forgetful Blogger. But you deserve the award.
ByYou know Renny, this fabulous post could have quite easily been four seperate fabulous posts. So instead of lumping your fabulous thoughs together into one fabulous mega post, why not post a little shorter and a little more often? Your loyal fans and former best friends (coughity cough cough cough) would appreciate that.
BySorry, DB - either ya got it, or ya don't.
ByAlthough, part of it might have been my gematria comment in yesterday's post.
RenReb, thanks for posting at all (let alone linking to me). Always a pleasure to find a new article here.
RWAC, I don't get your meaning.
ByRR has it. She has it in spades. She has so much of it in fact that this could have easily been FOUR seperate posts. Like you, I am always happy to hear from Ren Reb. I'd just like to see her post FOUR times instead of one time.
Oh, and I've been known to drink a little too much at shul dinners myself. Its about the only reason to go.
ByIts about the only reason to go.
ByWhat? You don't go for free bentchers?
DB - Um. actually, not to be unkind, but I meant you. As in, the whole "wasn't I your Best Friend" status thing. Either ya got it, or...
ByBut I do agree regarding the dinners.
Oh. RWAC. I got it. Man do I got it.
ByThis post has been removed by the author.
BySo the funny thing was, when I told a friend of mine that I got drunk at the shul dinner..
ByYa, we kind of noticed ;-)
If you haven't stood on South Street in lower Manhattan on July 4th, with tens thousands of your fellow Americans, watching the fireworks display over the Brooklyn Bridge, you haven't, lulei demistafina, been yotzei Simchas Independence Day.
ByI'm a financial planner, but people who cheat on their taxes (and worse, make excuses) are vile. If I could find a heter to make a berachah on my tax return, I would (help here, DovBear?).
Not ALL rabbi's wives are Rebbitzens.
ByLike, I missed it dude-im and dude-ot. Came July 4th, and I posted a post about Bastille Day - well, I actually ended the blog with a reference to Bastille Day, and that day's Google logo didn't help - does anyone think I need some? RWAC and DB are on the money when they say they're happy when RenRab posts - who isn't?
ByDear Mrs RR,
» Post a Commentsomewhere in between all the infantile desperately-wanting-to-sound-with-'it' babble you seem to put across the idea that a monarchy is a bad thing.
Well, being English and a proud subject of HM I do not take your Articles of faith for given. I mean, I understand that if someone has been punished by the Almighty with having to live in the former colonies, one might as well make the best of it, and, for lack of a better word, be 'proud' of it, but I reserve myself the right to be a staunch monarchist and to despise 'Americanism'.
And perhaps it would not have been such a bad thing to stay with this 'Scepter'd Isle'.
PS- when it came to Jews, the Founding Fathers rather pulled short of their grand ideas, didn't they?
Toodle-pip, darling, must be off now, meeting someone at the O & C, what?
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