RenReb + tattoo = Yiddish + chocolate
So apparently I've been given a new Yiddish nickname (not saying where or by whom) (sorry), one which I truly enjoy. Want to hear it? "Rebbetzin Yenta Veibel." I like it. I think it has a nice ring to it. In fact, I've made an appointment to have it tattooed across my back, I'm thinking with a nice fleur-de-lis, maybe intertwined with a keyboard logo, set against a background of the sun rising over a cholent pot. What do you think?
So here's part of a comment that appeared to my last post re why I get hostile towards people who ask me how I like the "Rebbetzin Aspect":
Yes. Thank you. I think that's about right.
By the way - it wasn't a friend who asked me this; I don't (usually) feel hostility towards people I'm actually friendly with when they ask me personal questions (I may refuse to answer, but that's another matter). This, however, was not a friend; it was a casual acquaintance who I had not seen in a long time, and her treatment of the topic just happened to rub me the wrong way, I imagine for the reasons described above. So thanks for helping me figure that out, Clkl.
So on this same topic, this dude by the name of Holy Hyrax posted the following (I believe this same individual also puts in frequent appearances over at the blogs of my best friends Ezzie and Jameel):
Feh *pout*
Actually, the truth is, this phenomenon - I mean, the phenomenon of being irritated, for no discernible reason, by a seemingly innocent question - is not, in fact, unique to rebbetzins. No, sir. If I'm not mistaken, this could happen with anyone. For example, I once asked a med student if he had any idea yet what he wanted to focus on, and BOY did he bite my unsuspecting little head off. Obviously, it was a sensitive topic to him, for reasons I have no idea of and certainly had no way of knowing in advance. In fact, we never know what issues and baggage people bring with them to conversations, and we have no way of knowing which well-intentioned, innocent-sounding statement by us might end up being the equivalent, to them, of asking my husband on Rosh Chodesh Elul if he has his High Holiday sermons written yet (i.e., A MONTH IN ADVANCE) (not bloody likely). In other words: a sensitive topic, likely to result in my husband looking for sermon inspiration by cursing the person's name and spending the next several weeks throwing darts at their picture (hopefully, he'd ask them for forgiveness before Yom Kippur).
So, while I accept the gentle indication that my bitterness towards casual acquaintances who ask me about the Rebbetzin Aspect might be unreasonable, I also retain my right, as an imperfect human being, to occasionally be unreasonable. Unreasonable behavior is part of what makes us (or me, at least) imperfect human beings, and our imperfection is, after all, part of God's plan. This way, I have something (else) to work on and to strive for, and hopefully, with God's help I'll get there some day.
So that's that (for now) about the Rebbetzin Aspect.
So here's another comment to my previous post, this one about my having mocked gematrias. Incidentally, it so happens that I felt guilty as soon as I published the post, and I thought I might want to post again to clarify and explain; luckily, you all chimed in and did the work for me, which makes my life just that much easier.
So here it is, copied and pasted:
WAAAAH I'm a bad, bad Jew. I felt very icky after reading this. I like what Talmid said and I probably couldn't agree more. But before I could post again about what was behind the mockery, some person by the name of DovBear spoke up, and said the following in response to Talmid (hideous spelling in the original, as usual) (actually, it wasn't that bad this time):
Ok then. I gave you that comment mostly as food for thought. That is, I have absolutely no idea what any of our great sages who utilized gematriot had in mind when they used them; perhaps they took them as seriously as I take my God-given imperative to refrain from certain activities on the seventh day, and perhaps they didn't. Could be they're cracking up laughing at me right now and saying "HEY!! RENREB!! Gematrias are idiotic!! We were just having fun!!" Or, it could be they're shaking their non-bodily heads at me and saying "RenReb, you have NO IDEA how serious gematrias are, and we're looking forward to setting you straight about that (and many other things) just before sending you down to burn." Or it could be neither of those things. I have no way of knowing, and as such I should certainly exhibit some restraint in mocking stuff that was stated in a Torah context by individuals of their stature. And usually (I think? in my real life, at least), I do exhibit restraint, but I suppose on the blog I tend to let loose a little bit, and every so often I lose sight of myself. So thanks to those of you who helped to set me straight.
So - I do not think all gematrias, or the idea of the validity of gematrias as tools for uncovering - I don't know what, but something - are silly, and I should not have indicated that I do. And I certainly hope I never lose sight of myself to the point of really and truly mocking any aspect of our time-honored tradition. And when I say really and truly mocking, I mean mocking from the bottom of my heart, the way I might mock my husband's tendency to try to tell me that Barack Obama isn't good-looking. (He-llo!! He's adorable! Maybe not as adorable as your friend Dylan the priest, but come on!) If I ever lost sight of myself to that extent, well, that would not be a good thing. Gentle mocking may not be good either, but really and truly mocking would be worse, and would, I think, indicate that I am becoming someone I do not wish to be. I do hope that such a thing never comes to pass.
So the point is, I think the overuse and abuse of gematrias is silly and ill-founded. But I do not wish to mock or invalidate the idea that the numerical values of various words have some hidden significance that we are meant to uncover. I am certainly nobody to suggest such a thing, and I stand humbly at the feet of giants throughout the ages who have used Hebrew words to do exactly that.
[Hey - when I was in high school I knew someone who used to sit in class calculating the gematrias of the full Hebrew names of everyone she knew, and comparing them to each other to see if she could figure out any pre-ordained couples. To the best of my knowledge, none of the matches she made via this method ever went anywhere. But I'm sure the meanings of mine and my husband's names are identical in some language or other, so who the heck knows?]
Time for bed, I think. Laundry can wait. Good night.
So here's part of a comment that appeared to my last post re why I get hostile towards people who ask me how I like the "Rebbetzin Aspect":
To answer seriously would be a violation of etiquette and everyone's privacy and boundaries. Answering lightly, in keeping with the kiddush-social-level of the query, is to do an injustice to the topic. It's a no-win situation for the small-talk-victim.
-clkl
Yes. Thank you. I think that's about right.
By the way - it wasn't a friend who asked me this; I don't (usually) feel hostility towards people I'm actually friendly with when they ask me personal questions (I may refuse to answer, but that's another matter). This, however, was not a friend; it was a casual acquaintance who I had not seen in a long time, and her treatment of the topic just happened to rub me the wrong way, I imagine for the reasons described above. So thanks for helping me figure that out, Clkl.
So on this same topic, this dude by the name of Holy Hyrax posted the following (I believe this same individual also puts in frequent appearances over at the blogs of my best friends Ezzie and Jameel):
Im learning a very valuable lesson from your blog. Basically, when ever I see a rebbetzin of any shul, just politely say hi, and walk away quickly lest I spark some inner maddness pierced in her eyes, yet forcibly subdued that she is able to respond with a friendly hello, all because I may have asked an innocent question.
Feh *pout*
Actually, the truth is, this phenomenon - I mean, the phenomenon of being irritated, for no discernible reason, by a seemingly innocent question - is not, in fact, unique to rebbetzins. No, sir. If I'm not mistaken, this could happen with anyone. For example, I once asked a med student if he had any idea yet what he wanted to focus on, and BOY did he bite my unsuspecting little head off. Obviously, it was a sensitive topic to him, for reasons I have no idea of and certainly had no way of knowing in advance. In fact, we never know what issues and baggage people bring with them to conversations, and we have no way of knowing which well-intentioned, innocent-sounding statement by us might end up being the equivalent, to them, of asking my husband on Rosh Chodesh Elul if he has his High Holiday sermons written yet (i.e., A MONTH IN ADVANCE) (not bloody likely). In other words: a sensitive topic, likely to result in my husband looking for sermon inspiration by cursing the person's name and spending the next several weeks throwing darts at their picture (hopefully, he'd ask them for forgiveness before Yom Kippur).
So, while I accept the gentle indication that my bitterness towards casual acquaintances who ask me about the Rebbetzin Aspect might be unreasonable, I also retain my right, as an imperfect human being, to occasionally be unreasonable. Unreasonable behavior is part of what makes us (or me, at least) imperfect human beings, and our imperfection is, after all, part of God's plan. This way, I have something (else) to work on and to strive for, and hopefully, with God's help I'll get there some day.
So that's that (for now) about the Rebbetzin Aspect.
So here's another comment to my previous post, this one about my having mocked gematrias. Incidentally, it so happens that I felt guilty as soon as I published the post, and I thought I might want to post again to clarify and explain; luckily, you all chimed in and did the work for me, which makes my life just that much easier.
So here it is, copied and pasted:
just to give a more balanced perspective on teh gematria issue - MOST gematrias are just fun and cute ways to remember things or challenge people who enjoy numbers. There are certain gematrias that do have some meaning. It is hard to believe that when the gemara bases a din d'oraysa (nezirus being 30 days) on a gematria, that it is totally meaningless. Granted, the Rambam downplays it and says that the real source must have been some sort of kabala, but other rishonim disagree and take the gemara at face value. People of the stature of the Ba'al Haturim and the Steipler Gaon did not think it beneath their intelligence to publish gematrios. The gemara uses it in a number of places and for most mainstream orthodox Jews that means it is not something to poke fun at. If you read the Noda B'yehuda's introduction to his Tzlach on shas he explains with a beautiful mashal how foolish it is for people to mock what they percieve as foolish in the Talmud. Read books like the Juggler and the King and see how much wisdom can be hidden in "foolish" stories. Maybe a little more reverance is called for?
-talmid
WAAAAH I'm a bad, bad Jew. I felt very icky after reading this. I like what Talmid said and I probably couldn't agree more. But before I could post again about what was behind the mockery, some person by the name of DovBear spoke up, and said the following in response to Talmid (hideous spelling in the original, as usual) (actually, it wasn't that bad this time):
Every word here is true (And kudos to Talmud for mentioning that the mishna in nazir is "downplayed" by the Rambam)
However, it is also true that gematriot are abused and misused (the chalev one quoted here is a fine example of a gematriah of doubtful significance.)
Though its true that the Bal HaTurim and others published gematriot, it doesn't follow from this that gematriot must never be mocked. Nor does it follow that the BT thought they carried any divine significance. Perhaps he published gematriot for the same reason that Benjamin Franklin published puns?
Tlmid is right: Reverence has its place, certainly.
But, irreverance does, too.
Ok then. I gave you that comment mostly as food for thought. That is, I have absolutely no idea what any of our great sages who utilized gematriot had in mind when they used them; perhaps they took them as seriously as I take my God-given imperative to refrain from certain activities on the seventh day, and perhaps they didn't. Could be they're cracking up laughing at me right now and saying "HEY!! RENREB!! Gematrias are idiotic!! We were just having fun!!" Or, it could be they're shaking their non-bodily heads at me and saying "RenReb, you have NO IDEA how serious gematrias are, and we're looking forward to setting you straight about that (and many other things) just before sending you down to burn." Or it could be neither of those things. I have no way of knowing, and as such I should certainly exhibit some restraint in mocking stuff that was stated in a Torah context by individuals of their stature. And usually (I think? in my real life, at least), I do exhibit restraint, but I suppose on the blog I tend to let loose a little bit, and every so often I lose sight of myself. So thanks to those of you who helped to set me straight.
So - I do not think all gematrias, or the idea of the validity of gematrias as tools for uncovering - I don't know what, but something - are silly, and I should not have indicated that I do. And I certainly hope I never lose sight of myself to the point of really and truly mocking any aspect of our time-honored tradition. And when I say really and truly mocking, I mean mocking from the bottom of my heart, the way I might mock my husband's tendency to try to tell me that Barack Obama isn't good-looking. (He-llo!! He's adorable! Maybe not as adorable as your friend Dylan the priest, but come on!) If I ever lost sight of myself to that extent, well, that would not be a good thing. Gentle mocking may not be good either, but really and truly mocking would be worse, and would, I think, indicate that I am becoming someone I do not wish to be. I do hope that such a thing never comes to pass.
So the point is, I think the overuse and abuse of gematrias is silly and ill-founded. But I do not wish to mock or invalidate the idea that the numerical values of various words have some hidden significance that we are meant to uncover. I am certainly nobody to suggest such a thing, and I stand humbly at the feet of giants throughout the ages who have used Hebrew words to do exactly that.
[Hey - when I was in high school I knew someone who used to sit in class calculating the gematrias of the full Hebrew names of everyone she knew, and comparing them to each other to see if she could figure out any pre-ordained couples. To the best of my knowledge, none of the matches she made via this method ever went anywhere. But I'm sure the meanings of mine and my husband's names are identical in some language or other, so who the heck knows?]
Time for bed, I think. Laundry can wait. Good night.
Labels: Opinions, The Rebbetzinate
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 at 5/30/2007 11:42:00 PM.
Bydo you and the Rabbi have pictures of all your congregants on dartboards, just in case, or do you make them up as needed?
By(I believe this same individual also puts in frequent appearances over at the blogs of my best friends Ezzie and Jameel):
BySo has Dovie been kicked out the Ren Reb's Best Friend's club or are you adding new members.
I am just curious about that aspect of it.
P.S. Phil says that he is really offended that he wasn't asked to be a part of it and his wife made some remark about shoes.
Re: gematrias: maybe chazal didn't have a single position on it. Maybe for some of them, they were full of mystical significance, and for others they were useful as a way of keeping their students' attention and making their ideas easy to remember, but nothing more.
ByI'm just speculating; I don't know enough to say anything certain about this one way or the other.
So has Dovie been kicked out the Ren Reb's Best Friend's club
ByJust the very question I had planned to ask....
And RR, awsome to see you posting twice in one week. Glad you have the time, enegy, etc...
Seriously, RenReb - what pastime have you been giving up that allows you to post twice in one week instead? Or has your life become supremely uncomplicated all of a sudden?
ByRR, I want to second the sentiment. Its awesome to see you posting twice in one week. I, too, am glad you have the time and the energy for things that matter.
ByWhoops. RenReb, I didn't mean to suggest that you would have discarded something truely important for the sake of your blog and its readers. Sorry, if I sounded insensitive. Not intentional.
ByIn fact, we never know what issues and baggage people bring with them to conversations, and we have no way of knowing which well-intentioned, innocent-sounding statement by us might end up being the equivalent, to them, of asking my husband on Rosh Chodesh Elul if he has his High Holiday sermons written yet (i.e., A MONTH IN ADVANCE) (not bloody likely)
ByOh dear. Sensitive topics.
About 6 hours after my son's birth, my husband and I were sitting there with the lactation consultant going over our going-home instructions, thinking:
*I can't believe they're letting us take him home. We don't know anything about babies!*
and made some nervous joke about how we'd do on our own at home. She said, you'll be fine, all new parents worry about their babies. One of said something like *yeah, you think we're worried now, wait til he gets his driver's license!*
and she started crying.
Her son was driving with his newly acquired driving license when he got in a car accident. He was fine. All his friends in the car with him were, well, not fine.
YIKES! (Yes, still one of the biggest memories from the day my son was born.)
about that issues/baggage thing...
Byi try to remember that there's ALWAYS something you don't know. ususally the point of remembering that is to enable one to judge favorably, but sometimes it just explains an unexpected response to something innocuous and innocent you said or did. this has not been an easy lesson for me and HaShem keeps testing me with this one.
by the way, when i'd go to RR -- and there'd be no new post -- i'd follow the link to aidel maidel and kvell. if the RR posts become FFB again (that's "few and far between," not "frum from birth") i recommend this to anyone who wants a lift.
WOW,
Byyou mentioned me on your post. I am honored :) and I understand that frustration inside sometimes, but the way it comes out...you know, sounds pretty nasty.
BTW- Dovbear asked me to ask you why he was not included in the best friends list.
I really didn't mean to make you feel icky renreb. I am truly sorry about that (and about my consistently poor spelling which seems to irritate you - blogger needs to get a spell check feature for comments).
ByAlso, in response to DovBear, I understand that I was blurring what should be a clear line between gematria and agaddata, but may basic point was that we may look at certain comments of Chazal and laugh at how ludicrous they sound. We know that when it comes to aggadata we are very much in the dark and our scorn comes from ignorance. I was humbly suggesting that the same may be true of gematria (at least the ones used in shas and Medrashim - not the chalav for Shavuos one).
I just realized you were criticizing DovBear's spelling and not mine. I will now continue to spell poorly :)
ByThis reminds me of the section in Rabbi Blumenkranz z"l's annual Pesach guide about chumrot l'Pesach. In it, he recalls a Rabbi who would adopt every chumra for Pesach he ever heard about, "even if he laughed at them."
BySo, there's precedent for balancing a sense of the absurd with appropriate respect.
Now, if only I could find similar balance with an attitude to segulot!
More nasty crap on the streets of San Francisco tomorrow, in case anyone is interested.
By[Sorry, tayere Rebbetzin, but I'm urgently and opportunistically trolling for Bay Area leite.]
RenReb + tattoo = Yiddish + chocolate
Byso therefore renreb - yiddish = chocolate -tatoo?
and renreb = yiddish + chocolate - tattoo?
and tattoo = yiddish +chocolate - renreb?
So the only way to have a tattoo is to know yiddish and eat chocolate but not be or know the renreb?
Woohoo!!
ByStill in the best-friends club...[high-fives Dovie].
Wait a minute...is he still here?
What bothers me are those that insist on calling me Rebbetzin, even though they know I don't like it. I don't care about those (usually young, cute married guys) that do it jokingly, it's the ones that say it in all seriousness that get to me.
ByAre you trying to show me how frum you are? Get with the program and listen to me people - I have a first name.
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