There are plenty of insanely cheap dvd players out there. Like $20. And there are dvd players that are pretty much free with rebates--especially this time of year. They aren't fancy but they work just fine.    

Hi. Long time reader but first time poster here. As a fellow rabbinic home dweller, Im more than familiar with the situation you find urself in. While I am the child and not the baalat habayit, I feel your pain. Just a few suggestions for gifts that I know my mother has used. Obviously it all depends on the age and gender of the giftee...
For families with a few young children, my mother always gave and still gives, a small bag of nosh to each child and an uncle moishy tape or something of the like as the "big present".
I do recall one year when money was particularly tight, my mother purchased plastic thing-a-majigs from the dollar store (ranging from jewelry boxes to pen holders) and puffy painted each childs name onto their thing-a-majig. She added a baseball or heart or balloons, etc depending on the childs' preference. Most kids love anything personalized, because its clearly theirs.
For older kids, or young adults, Im at a loss when it comes to boys, but girls are easy and cheap :) If you stick with the trio of cute soaps, body lotions, etc, you cant go wrong. Also a pair of yummy socks (i saw cashmere ones for $10 at Macy's tonight) are great.
I've just finished sewing my chanukah presents- I made drawer saches out of a bag of popourri and $1/yard fabric from walmart. It is worth noting that these chanukah gifts of mine were borne out of financial reasons and not creative ones....
Thanks for your terrific blog, please know that you are not alone. There are many of us who share similar lives, and humor only enhances them
Lech mechayil el chayil in your Avodat Hakodesh!
Chag Sameach!    

We all do what we can with what we have. It is not always easy or nice but if people do not understand that is their problem. Now it is easy for me to say that, but I understand your situation. I do well but not nearly as well as friends/family so it is not unusual for us to turn down dinner invitations or listen somewhat uncomfortably about all the great things that we should buy.

It is not so easy, but there are many of us in your position.    

I can relate to how you feel - our zip code makes people make not-so-correct guesses about our finances too.

We decided this year to completely eschew buying stuff for people (we don't have kids, so that part's easy), and instead made some donations to uncontroversial charities (like So Others Might Eat") in people's names. We'll see how this goes, but hopefully we can get off of the consumer-stuff bandwagon.    

Cheers to you, RenReb - not only for knowingly choosing a path in life that is often wrought with difficulties (financial among them, yes, but others more pressing as well), but for actually realizing, while admitting that the humanness in all of us always wants more than we have, that there are so many people out there less fortunate than we are. I'm not patting you on the back to pacify your shame - real or imagined - but I am saying not to beat yourself up quite so much. We all have those feelings - but there's always someone richer, prettier or better-looking, smarter, more athletic - just plain better than we are at something... anything. Maybe it's what propels us forth to be better people, or to give just a little more and feel GOOD about it.

I have a deep respect for any one who chooses a path that encourages us to live by His laws, replete with all the hard discipline and sacrafice that entails. And the fact that you even see that the world is not equal and fair, and people suffer and feel pain just puts you ONE GIANT step ahead of the rest!

Enjoy your holidays! Holly :-)    

Thanks for the comments, people.

I'm not 100% sure why, but this post, now that I read it again, is making me cringe with discomfort, and I feel like trashing it. Anyone care to help me figure out why that is???    

mabye because you feel like your making out yourself to be poor? it's ok, i was a kid in that kind of house.

and the way my mother always dealt with gift issues was to start looking long in advance and to constantly browse and just memorize all the perfect deals and make sure she had them before the sale went out. but that may be more effort than it's worth for you. (and yes that included alot of creative dollarstore stuff. people always ask her where on earth she got what ever she got. i seem to remember a garden ridge had some really cute giant stuffed animals for not that much. they went over well with a little 2 year old, and i suspect they would go over similarly with older kids, but i don't remember how much they cost, it might have been 15)    

Have you thought about baking your presents? I don't know anyone that doesn't like a big plate of fancy-looking sweets and chocolate-dipped stuff. They're not too hard to make, and with the right presentation, people will think you slaved for days or spent quite a large amount of money! Throw in some coffee, hot chocolate, a mug or two and a gift certificate to a movie rental place, and you've got an "instant night in" gift.    

I hope you don't take this post down; it's very important.
I think you're also touching on an explanation for another important phenomenon you've discussed before: why educated, MO-type women of our generation rebel against the "rebbetzin" label and unpaid responsibilities that come with it. While a lot of it has to do with the rebellion against the old European model and the presumed brain-death that comes with it (not that that's necessarily true, but you know about the perception), much of it also has to do with the fact that if the rabbi's wife works at a well-paying job, the financial stresses you aptly describe can be somewhat alleviated (aside from the external validation that comes with "using" those advanced degrees). It's hard to be surprised when those who have the ability to avoid those stresses, choose to do so. But it does lead to a communal shortage of "rebbetzins."
A few years ago, during the initial contretemps over the female "congregational interns," one of the women involved was quoted as saying something along the lines of (I don't have the exact quote) that her goal for that program wasn't the inauguration of female rabbis, but of women who would be appropriately recognized and compensated for performing the communal duties that rebbetzins have performed in the past. Regardless of your feelings about that particular experiment, it seems that a "progressive" shul would recognize the communal benefits of having a rebbetzin, and pay accordingly for those services.    

Time to teach the kids and family that we celebrate Chanukah and not X-mas. It appears the minhag is to give chanukah gelt. Buy a box of Pashkez chanukah gelt and be done with it. And just remember, you will get your due proper payment in the next world. Do you want the big house here and the wooden table there, or the small house here and the golden table there?    

Don't feel guilty about other people who live in poverty. I don't mean don't care or don't act, give what you can, I just mean, it's not your fault. This isn't about you not being grateful for what you have, it's about the unintended insensitivity of other people. It's ok to vent a little, as long as you can forgive them later. And everyone who really matters will remember what you gave of yourself, not what you gave of your checking account.    

I won't lay my "less than expensive" gift suggestions on you, because I don't think they'll help, nor do I think that was the point of the post. Here's the way I read this post, and may be why it is now making you feel slightly uncomfortable:
You are well aware of how you live in a situation which often puts you in an uncomfortable position. You don't really need the luxuries waved around in your face, but every once in a while, particularly when you realize that not for yourself, but for others who are going to be missing out, you wish you didn't have this pressure. It has nothing to do with regretting your chosen path, nor does it have anything to do with feeling underpriviledged, it is simply frustration with having this pressure thrown up into your face. This maybe the reason you feel uncomfortable about the post. You were venting as a result of reality smacking you in the face, and don't realy feel that way all the time. Deep down you realize that you truly 'have' and 'give' just as much if not more than those around you, possibly in different ways, but yours is certainly no less significant. And yes, once in a while, when the stress gets to you and you dream about what you're missing out on, why not vent? My wife always tells me, that when she's venting to me, I shouln't try to fix the problem, because it really not a problem, she's simply venting. I think that's what's bothering you, you were simply venting, and you're concerned that it looks like your dissatisfied, and there's sympathy being shown, while you don't need sympathy, and certainly aren't looking for solutions.    

As to the upcoming "Men are Pigs" discussion, be sure to remember the subtitle: "These Girls Couldn't Get A Rise Out Of Me With A Forklift".    

I think you have raised some excellent points about awareness. As you often do, I think you have created a mitzvah of another sort and I will explain why.

Your life is challenging financially (and in other ways too)and I completely understand it. I have experience in it so I know how you feel. But you have raised ideas we all need to think about. Right now there are many people who try not to keep up with their neighbors, but just try to make ends meet. People lose jobs, have financial woes because they want to help themselves or others to decent healthcare. I could go on and on.. the point is for people to have compassion. When we see someone who could really use those gray roots touched up, or a car that is getting old or a slow computer... KEEP QUIET! Offer a suggestion when it is asked.. and when it isn't then remain silent.

Just for yucks.. about 10 years ago I had major surgery. I was pretty weak when I got home from the hospital and when my boss called me it wasn't to see how I was feeling. It was to tell me I was fired because I'd already missed work for 3 weeks and that wasn't acceptable. That was pretty nasty but we would survive. My husband finally was able to go back to his office (he had spent most of those 3 weeks with me) and his boss fired him too. It wasn't a good time.

Some "friends" came over to see me and were bragging about their recent trip on a cruiseship to
Alaska. Do people ever listen to what comes out of their mouths?

So your lesson today RenReb is for all of us to Listen. Keep out mouths shut and our ears open. If there is someone here, there, or anywhere we can help - we should do it. If not - just smile and nod. Then look around to see who or what we can do to make the world a better place!

Thinking of you.. *hugs*    

How sad that all those kids have been trained to expect presents that cost more than $20 for Chanukah.

Cut em off, RenReb.

Chanukah costs me a max of $16. 2 kids. 8 nights. Presents from the dollar store. And we don't open presents every night, because it's not about the presents. (I know, preaching to the choir, so to speak.)

I do feel a similar financial pinch. We bought our house when I was working full-time at a very decent job. Then I was laid off. Then I had another kid. Then, then, then...but since we managed to keep the house, everyone thinks we are flush with cash. Ha. So, so ha! Can't saw how thankful I am that WalMart clothes are somewhat fashionable...

Shabbat shalom and chag sameach, RR.

(Perhaps consider changing to a more liberal type of Judaism if you want a salary bump. Ours makes close to 6 figures -- much more than most of us.)    

I empathize, a lot. And I'm really glad you wrote this post. I think money issues are the biggest taboo in American culture, and it makes me angry that dealing with money (and lack thereof) makes so many of us feel shame.

This year I'm making mix CDs for all of my friends -- a spine of CDs costs about twelve bucks, I can choose songs people will like, and my trusty workhorse of a computer can slowly churn them out. Probably not a good solution for your particular dilemma, but I offer it anyway, in case anyone else here is looking for affordable ideas.

Chag sameach. Maybe the real miracle this year will be if what we have can truly feel like "enough" for us -- like the oil that lasted eight nights, may our resources and our possessions truly satisfy us this year, without the need for more more more!    

As a person who is not in poverty but has flirted dangerously close to its edge ("I can make it to the end of this week if I eat one big meal a day instead of feeding myself when I'm hungry!"), I am with you, RenReb. My family are celebrators of Christmas, and there have been years I wanted to cry because they got me nice stuff and I got them one small & inexpensive present each. They are civilized and would never SAY anything (and at least one year, my mom bought my sister and brother in law presents for me and put my name on them), but it's the feeling of being unable to do even the small things that the people around you are financially able to do that is semi-humiliating.

DON'T DELETE THIS POST. It's important, that we consider these things, especially as it relates to religious leaders...because the same pay differential seems to apply to many ministers, in my experience

I hope that things resolve themselves, as they tend to do, and that your holiday is fabulous and full of the stuff that's important, like family and love and faith, even if it's somewhat short on expensive presents.    

What you wrote sounds a lot like stuff I think about and go through myself and it drives me NUTS when I have to deal with my family and friends around this issue.

Sucks to be on a lower financial rung but kinda invisibly so, so that everyone assumes stuff is available to you, when really it isn't affordable. It also sucks to be defined as "the poor relation" but at least people don't wave stuff in your face. Pity and condescension can be worse though. I'm not sure which is worse.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, I hear you!    

Don't delete this post. It's important. Part of the mitzvah of being a rabbi (and/or rebbetzin) is choosing--a deliberate choice, by people who are intelligent and competent and gifted enough to pull in extravagant salaries--to instead minister to a congregation.

As for Chanukah gifts--I totally understand the wish to give presents at this time of year. It's always a great feeling to give someone a perfect gift, and the impulse is multiplied by the social pressures of EVERYONE ELSE giving gifts at this time of year.

But. Chanukah is not a major Jewish holiday. It is a minor Jewish holiday, it is a historical Jewish holiday, it is of the category "Our enemies tried to kill us, they failed, lets eat." Except that the "Let's eat" part isn't even a mitzvah (as compared to Purim, where it is). And giving gifts has absolutely nothing whatever to do with Chanukah. Gift-giving on Chanukah is totally and absolutely a carryover from Xmas. My parents and grandparents only gave my siblings and I Chanukah presents when we were too young to understand what the holiday was about (and at that age, something that cost a dollar or two was perfectly thrilling), and something in the $5 range of Chanukah gelt (which IS a Jewish Chanukah minhag), despite the fact that some of our classmates raked in expensive gifts for 8 solid days. Lighting candles--ourselves!--was thrilling enough, and I while I recall wishing in a vague kind of way for more in the way of loot, it left no deep impressions.

Actually, since money was rather scarce at the time, large gifts (as in anything over $20) were few and far between. I remember each of those--a set of machzorim for my bat mitzvah, a birthstone ring for my 16th birthday, pearl earrings when I turned 21--and they still mean more than they would have had extravagant gifts been usual. That's a pretty special gift in and of itself, I'd say.    

Give 'em all gelt. Everyone likes gelt. How can you not like gelt? Everyone also likes striped socks.

Now, seriously: it's easy to feel overwhelmed when you're running a budget much tighter than people around you understand. You KNOW that you're living like a queen compared to most of the world, that's not the point. The point is that people treat you like an idiot, when all you're doing is living within your means.

The assumption is that somehow you have no idea how to spend money, or how much of it you can reasonably use for things you don't really need. That's pretty insulting, unfortunately, it's also weirdly common.

There's only one reply to "I can't afford it." The reply is "OK, maybe another time." Everyone, practice with me...    

RenReb-
I can sympathize, you know why? Because we live in Israel. So for Israeli standards, we do ok, because BH my husband has a high-tech job, but every year this time I worry over the cheap gifts we have to get our American families, who give us, including our children, quite generous Chanukah gifts. (Now I know it's completely Xmas influence, but I have to say we love getting them.) Anyway so the main point is that I pick out these quasi-lousy things, always worried that my mother-in-law won't really understand that although I work part-time, because it's in chinuch it isn't really anything, and while my husband BH has this high-status job, he's still literally making half of what he would in the US. Not to mention the Israeli taxes. So I'm always worried, about my cousins and in-laws etc., that they think we're cheap. Then I worry we ARE cheap. Then I worry we're spending too much. Seriously, this year my husband and I decided we would write each other poems instead of gifts.    

I grew up in a family that always had less than the other families in our synagogue. The other women wore fur coats, my mother . . . didn't. My friends went on ski trips, we . . . didn't. My friends got designer clothes and computer games for Chanukah, we . . . got Hello Kittie pencils and bags of chanukah gelt. (Like you, I'm not saying we were poor, at all. We had food on the table and heat in our house, and went to private school. But the cost of private school pretty much wiped out the chances of ever wearing designer clothes, that is for sure!)

But but BUT! I am not the worse for wear! I still love my mother, who so lovingly wrapped those pencils in festive paper so we could still open a present. And, now that I stop to think about it, and this is important:

The relatives I'm closest with and have the fondest memories of are NOT the ones who gave the most lavish presents, but the ones with whom we spent the most time.

So, don't worry about what your neices and nephews will think. If you spend time with them, they will love you, whether you give them fancy presents or not. And all the fancy presents in the world can't make up for not having a real relationship with them.

Keep your eyes on the prize. In 20 years none of them will remember what they got for chanukah. Seriously.    

from anonymous: "Time to teach the kids and family that we celebrate Chanukah and not X-mas."
I totally agree! I have to say, I was a bit disturbed by your Halloween post, as well.
We're Jews!!! Not Xians!! :) (or pagans for that matter)    

i agree with all those who said to keep this post up. it is important for people to read and think about.
for two reasons - 1. so that people in the same situation can see they aren't the only ones. 2. so people who make the insensitive comments can learn to listen and think twice about making assumptions about other peoples' lives.
even if it was just a frustrated rant, and you don't feel this way all the time, it touches on something important.    

I think it's perfectly acceptable for anyone, but in particular for the Rabbi's family, to refrain from giving gifts and instead send out Tomchei Shabbos or equivalent cards. (Tomchei Shabbos is the group that distributes shabbos and yom tov food to Jewish families in Los Angeles; other places probably have a similar tzedaka.) I think when I bought their Purim cards this year it was about $3/card. Or you could simply make a donation to the tzedaka of your choice, then write a note explaining that that is how you spent your "gift budget" and get packs of blank cards from the dollar store and send them to everyone with your photocpied explanation pasted inside -- or if you have a decent printer, run the cards through that.

There's no reason you should feel bad or guilty about not giving extravagant gifts. Let's face it -- anyone under the age of 15 will use the gift for approximately 6 seconds before discarding it in favor of the next great thing. Put other people in their place.    

What renreb has pointed out is universal to all of us. Secular society has crept in and has tried to hijack the real meaning of both our faiths this time of year. It is hard not to want and not to be made to feel small by others but if we focus on the meaning then our gift will be of full hearts and the glory of His Gift.

[sorry renreb, I'm not very knowledgable of your beliefs, I hope I didn't stumble here]

To all the people here, I hope your time with your families is a joyful one!

Mary-Kathryn    

OK, boys and girls, I've done a little comment deleting/editing for the following reasons:

1. The word "goyim" (and any of its derivatives) is not permitted on this blog (I posted about this at some point), so I reposted that comment without that sentence.

2. Some annoying dork posted an annoying dorky comment, which I deleted; and

3. I reposted Mary-Kathryn's comment after removing the portions that responded to aforementioned annoying dork.

Just wanted to clear up any confusion. :-)

Shavua tov, all - thanks for the feedback. I will keep the post up, even though I sort of cringe at the thought of having gotten quite this up close and personal. Money matters are extremely private things, and it's a little uncomfortable to have shared quite so much.    

You have to use some teacher tricks, Renreb. We don't make much money in Texas, where I live, but every year, I manage to give my middle schoolers (mostly gang members, mind you, a notoriously difficult group to shop for) a big thrill. Check out the Oriental Trading Company catalog--buy in bulk. Those little plastic bracelets--BIG hits with my crowd. Boys with guns still love eraser toppers (yes, they really do). Especially when everything is attractively presented in gift bags that I buy by the hundreds and then personalize.
Another place for inexpensive gifts--the Indian clothing stores. Wonderful blouses (and very modest, too) for under $10--often under $7! And bangles--get a dozen for $5. This stuff is glittery and a crowd pleaser. You don't even have to wrap this stuff--you just tie a bow to the bangles and loop your gift card through the end of the ribbon. Instant, cheap, unusual, and unexpected. Actually, most stores that serve immigrant populations are full of off-beat (to me, anyway) and inexpensive gifts. If I can find these stores in Texas, you can find them in your neck of the woods, too.    

RenReb: There are, again, issues here that are legitimate issues for discussion between your husband and the shul.

The apparent lack of channels of communication is symptomatic of a structural/governance problem within th e shul. If your shul is, eg, affiliated with a shul organisation (eg OU), there should be some advice available to you from there. Otherwise, can you approach a respected Phil (an ex-Pres?) and ask him to facilitate a discussion.

The shul should be giving you allowances that will enable you as a family to fulfil your function - including help in the house, perhaps even housing help, certainly help with hospitality , a clothing allowance, etc etc. There should also be an understanding regarding presents that you are expected to give arising from your community status.

When your husband's contract comes up for renewal, take professional or other advice regarding negotiations.

Alternative: consider moving shuls.    

As a congregational rabbi myself, I hear you loud and clear. In my last move (tiny rented apartment to even tinier rented apartment) I didn't meet the landlord's standards for minimum annual salary and had to get a co-signer to guarantee the lease. I chose one of my more affluent Board members as of way of letting them know the real impact of what they're paying me.

Nevertheless, while I realize that I'll never make anything like a real paycheck as a rabbi, I still have the responsibility for looking out for my family's parnasa. If I have to move to a shul that offers more in the way of money (and more affordable neighborhood, etc) but that might be less satisfying for me professionally as a rav -- well, that's the trade-off that parents have been making since the invention of children.

Maybe your husband needs to have a heart-to-heart with one of his more trusted Board members about his financial issues and the paltry sums they're paying. If they're serious about keeping you and your husband, they'll find a way to make you at least a little more comfortable. And if they can't (or more accurately they won't) then you need to seriously think about moving to another community.

Your husband will be a far better rav if he feels that he's being respected and can provide for his family in a dignified way. You'll be happier and feel more secure, which will make him happier and more secure, and more effective as a leader.    

As someone whose parents also could not afford designer clothes and fancy presents, and as someone who is making peanuts in a metro area where taxes eat nearly half of my paycheck, I totally empathize. It drives me up a wall when people (including roommates) say to me, "Oh, but X is only $$$$$..." and I respond, "Actually, I don't HAVE $$$$$ available in my budget, because I make peanuts in a metro area where taxes eat nearly half my paycheck," and THEY DON'T GET IT. They just cannot get their heads around the fact that I don't have money coming out of my ears. Some things just aren't in the budget. Next time I go roommate shopping I'm going to have to give them a JAP test first...    

Perhaps I'm missing something here... in all the comments, no one mentioned that you even alluded to the fact that you recognize that there are those so very much less fortunate in the world... and no one recognized that perhaps that's where the guilt lies - that struggle within yourself (within ourselves) that although we have plenty, we still sometimes wish for more of something - whether it be our ability to actually GIVE more or maybe to have more, knowing full well we have much more than we need to begin with. How can I have so much when some have so little, and yet, I sometimes wish for more... or want to give more and feel, at least, on equal footing with the rest of you?

Have I misunderstood, RenReb?    

As they say, appearances can be deceiving, and it is quite likely that a family that is limited financially is in far better financial shape than a family who spends freely. In fact, many of those who spend freely are in quite a lot of debt and are only tricking themselves.

The Ben Ish Hai writes that one who plans his expenses saves half. While this may not be literally true, it is absolutely true that those who create a budget and stick to it will be in a far better situation than those that don't. And, as we all know, those "small" purchases add up fast and can send a family into spiraling debt.

We choose to live modestly not only because we need to save, but because we believe that living modestly in the fiscal sense is just as important as dressing modestly. It is just too bad that consumerism in our communities is so out of control.    

Hi Renreb
As opposed to everyone else, i want to focus on the story you told about shabbat, and how you made a big shabbat and it took you forever to recover. I can so relate to you, i also seem to give people the wrong impression about my financial situation , and when a big rabbi was here last year we hosted him in our house and had a big meal , (i had 60 people over)and for me it was a big special deal, and it took me a while to recover as well

my idea for you, is to organise the young girls in the community to come over and help you, be it during the week, or on shabbat morning they could take turns babysitting for your kids so that you could go to shul.there are communities in europe where the girls school send the girls out for weekly chesed hours , maybe it could work in your community too
chag samech ,    

Renegade Rebbetzin, I like what you have to say. I've been on both sides- with less money, and with more. We all need the reminder. The holidays are not about expensive gifts and we all need to watch it when talking about this and that that we bought or received. Even on a non-consumer goods level (schools, kids' grades, etc).    

You don't have to be in the Rabbinate to feel that way... we moved to a new city, to the very edge of the Jewish Community, to be near a better school for the kids. Everyone says, why did you move so far away? Umm, because we'd have to ransom our souls to afford to live closer? And my husband makes good money, but we've got an expensive house (keeps falling apart on us) and half a dozen or so kids to feed, not to mention that private school tuition, etc. And if we need a new computer, we can't necessarily afford it, but we buy it anyway. (Some people, us included, shouldn't be given credit cards.)

But I didn't buy Chanukah presents for my neices, cousins, etc., because I never started that custom, Baruch Hashem.

Anyway, *I* understand how you feel.    

Very nicely written post. I agree with your sentiments on the poor and how it's strange that it's acceptable that we spend money on nonsense and don't feel the need to liquidate our accounts as you say. I can't fathom why the people you meet wouldn't understand that a Rabbi can't afford the luxuries you mentioned. What planet have they been living on?    

i didnt read all your posts but the reference to MAPs is insulting to me as a man, there most be something wrong with you that you have no problem insulting the entire male species, or half of the worlds population. get a life.    

Anon: I'll get a life if you learn to read. What I said was:

"Coming up in the shidduch crisis discussion: The Men Are Pigs Factor (with apologies to men who aren't)."

So - if you are not a pig, you must be one of the men I apologized to.

Alternatively, if I offend you, find something else to read.    

Shalom RR..
Several comments:
(1) I live in Israel
(olah chadasha from U.S.), and noone give presents here on Hannukah. We
give Hannukah Gelt and great food,
maybe some cute dreydels. This works
great mainly because everyone does it
this way.
Perhaps its possible to start a
"do it like in Eretz Ha'codesh" movement?

(2) I understand your squeemishness
about the post; you've exposed the
schitzophrenic nature of the feelings
many of us have, which is on one hand
struggling financially compared to our neighbors, and on the other hand realizing that vast numbers of people
are far worse off and REALLY suffering.
This is perfectly natural, and is
completely real. It IS schitzoid,
and IS the way of the world.

I live in an
extremely wealthy neighborhood whereas
our family lives very modestly, so
I'm in the same situation.
Among our friends, after a while they
"get it" and don't make those
"why don't you" suggestions anymore.
Otherwise, I just usually shrug and
move on to the next subject.
All the best, and thank you for your
blog.. I'm a long-time reader and lurker.